This is about healing. I really sense that the hard work I've been doing regarding trauma in my life is really starting to change my experience. It's as if the disorder component of post traumatic stress isn't getting triggered all the time. Order arises out of disorder. I can be present with my sensations at any given moment, and as I'm experiencing that, I'm learning what it feels like when emotions pass through my body. Highly charged emotions come up, and then, they leave. It's the weirdest thing. I'm experiencing a feeling, one without my muscles hardening and my mind getting hijacked by the scared brain that had previously been binge eating on any kind of Peace I was able to create.
It's just a feeling. It's incredible; and then it passes. It's like my brain suddenly has the awareness that its limbs and extremities are allowed to "be."
This is where I am now.